The Hallmarks of True Friendship—and Leadership

0:00 Intro/The importance of true community with other men

4:52 How Matt got involved with The Redeemed

8:19 How Matt’s concept of male friendship has changed

14:13 “When God really wants to use you, he’s gonna have to break you”

16:56 Matt’s current role with The Redeemed

21:11 What holds men back from taking on leadership roles

25:20 Closing thoughts: What’s YOUR next step?

Snippets/excerpts

1:45 to 2:45—Matt’s greatest struggle before finding Jesus: an inability to connect with people beyond a surface level, even those he should’ve been the closest to

4:20 to 5:02—Matt describes the “façade” he wore every day to mask his depression and loneliness

7:29 to 8:07—How the grace Matt’s wife offered opened his eyes to the saving grace of Jesus

17:13 to 18:20—How Matt’s older son took a leading role in deepening the entire family’s faith

1:23—When you think about your circle of male friendships in general, how deep would you say most of those friendships go? Are they the kind of relationships where you’re able to share deep thoughts, worries, and insecurities with one another, or do you mainly just talk about less serious things like sports, golf, or fishing? Proverbs 27:17

2:32—Of the friends with whom you have more superficial relationships, are there any in whom you see potential for a deeper connection? What circumstances or worries are holding you back from seeking that kind of friendship? 1 Thessalonians 2:8

7:08—When you first got connected with The Redeemed, did you immediately feel comfortable sharing deep thoughts and feelings with the other participants, or did it take a while? What was the main factor in your reluctance to open up, and what finally helped you break through? 2 Timothy 1:7

10:47—When were the times in your adult life when you were “pouring from an empty cup” with your male friends—relating to them on a superficial level but never sharing any deeper truths? How did that affect you personally, and how did it affect those relationships? Hebrews 10:24–25

15:45—Think about the idea of God needing to “break” us before he uses us to accomplish great things. Have you ever achieved anything significant that came easily to you or didn’t require some kind of trial or hardship? What did you learn from that hardship that you experienced on the way to success—or what might God have been trying to teach you? James 1:2–4

22:36—Think about the times you’ve had an opportunity to move up within an organization, to take on a more significant or “leaderly” role, but turned it down. What held you back from stepping into that greater role? Were you discouraged more by other people’s doubts and criticisms, or by your own? Joshua 1:9