Husband, Father, and Disciple
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About
As a teenager, Austin Milster remembers that his faith was mainly about following rules and checking boxes. But his time in the Army prompted him to re-evaluate his life and invest in the search for a more meaningful relationship with Christ. This week, Austin covers a variety of topics in conversation with Nate Dewberry, from how our own upbringing can echo in the way we guide, encourage, and discipline our kids to resisting the pressure to put work before family, and what he’s learned as a leader of The Redeemed’s small online groups.
Show Notes
Segment chapters
0:00 Intro/What does redemption mean to you?
3:02 Austin’s faith journey
6:08 The regular disciplines that have helped Austin find a more meaningful faith
9:58 How athletic activity can help us become mentally and spiritually stronger
14:22 Fatherhood and what it teaches us about ourselves
21:33 Walking the line between encouragement and discipline
27:36 Guiding principles for balancing work, marriage, and parenthood
33:39 What Austin’s learned from leading small groups at The Redeemed
41:35 Creating an environment where men are willing to be vulnerable
45:20 Closing thoughts: Advice for guys who feel lost
Snippets/excerpts
3:38 to 5:26—From “reading words” and “checking boxes” to seeking a real relationship with God
7:37 to 8:36—You’re not perfect—your testimony doesn’t have to be, either
22:10 to 23:56—“I don’t care about your results, I care about your effort”: How Austin’s approach to guiding his sons in sports has evolved over the years
28:10 to 30:02—Even in a world of high expectations and “grind culture,” you’ll never regret putting your kids first
31:50 to 33:10—There are other people who can do your job, but there’s nobody else who can be the father your kids need
Discussion
1:17—Are you your own worst critic? When you go through periods where you feel unworthy of God’s love, is it usually because of a criticism someone else has leveled at you, or is it more likely to be the result of your own self-criticism? Romans 8:1 (ESV)
4:34—When was the very first time you read directly from the Bible? Which part did you begin reading, and what do you remember about your reaction to it? Did it make a real impression on you, or were you, as Austin describes, just “reading words” or “checking a box”? Psalm 119:18 (ESV)
8:50—In moments when you’re reluctant to share or profess your faith openly, does that have anything to do with anxiety over how you’ll be perceived by others? Are you worried that they’ll think it’s a “TMI” situation? Are you worried that they’ll think of times you haven’t been a perfect Christian and regard you as a hypocrite? Romans 1:16 (ESV)
20:16—How much guidance or restriction did your parents place on your friendships as a young man? Were you comfortable with their degree of influence, or did you rebel against it? If you have kids of your own, how have your parents’ actions made an impact on the ways you try to guide your children socially? Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)
22:38—How much did your parents, especially your father, encourage you to participate in sports as a kid? Were they encouraging and patient, or did they become strident and demanding – the classic “Little League parent”? How has that affected the way you encourage your own kids in athletic activities?
26:00—Of all the forms of discipline your parents employed when you were young, what was the most effective? What really stayed with you and prompted you to change your behavior for the long term? Does it still echo with you as you attempt to “stay on the straight and narrow” as an adult? Proverbs 13:24 (ESV)
29:46—What do you remember about how your father (or both parents) prioritized work and parenting? How much pressure do you feel in your current job to work longer hours and make your career your identity? How are you responding to that pressure? Mark 8:36 (ESV)
36:00—If you’ve participated in The Redeemed’s small groups, do you recall a moment when a fellow group member’s story of extreme struggle or hardship put your own problems in perspective? What concerns or challenges had been weighing heavily on your heart before, and how did you approach those issues after hearing that story? 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (ESV)
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