Be Willing to Be Broken

0:00 Intro/Mark’s baseball background

1:41 Mark’s struggle for identity after two big career setbacks

5:30 The importance, and the rewards, of being present as a father

8:19 Mark’s spiritual journey with his wife

16:16 Being a man means putting aside victimhood and owning your mistakes

18:38 Mark’s new book about fatherhood and his advice for divorced dads

26:20 Why “brokenness” is so important to being a successful man

28:17 Maintaining meaningful, honest, open male friendships

36:48 What Mark has learned from his international mission trips

41:06 The spiritual life of an empty-nester

46:03 Closing thoughts on manhood and purpose

Snippets/excerpts

2:15 to 3:13—Mark describes the struggle to find his identity after setbacks in his career as a baseball player and then as a coach

12:22 to 13:22—“Boys take, and men give”: How Mark’s wife got him to leave youthful immaturity behind and become a real man

16:24 to 17:27—The difficult process of putting aside victimhood and self-pity and accepting responsibility for one’s mistakes

26:57 to 27:55—Why the humility to admit one’s brokenness is vital to effective leadership

31:09 to 31:46—The freeing feeling of being open about one’s struggles with other men

41:26 to 42:20—“I don’t think people need fixing”: The most important message Mark wants to convey as a life coach

3:19—Have you ever faced a situation like the one Mark faced as a player and then a coach, where you had been absolutely convinced that your true identity was one thing, only to find out that it wasn’t? What did that uncertainty and search for meaning feel like? Do you feel like you’ve finally landed on your true identity, or are you still searching? 2 Corinthians 5:17

5:59—Think back to the day after one of your biggest career or life setbacks. What was the point at which you realized the world was still turning despite your personal turmoil, and that you still had responsibilities to fulfill? Did it feel strange, or even unfair, that nothing was slowing down for you?

11:04—If you’re married or in a committed relationship, how has your spiritual journey differed from your spouse/partner’s? Have those differences ever caused friction or frustration, and how did you overcome that together?

14:26—What spiritual practices do you engage in as a couple, and how have they strengthened your relationship? How have they strengthened your faith? Ecclesiastes 4:12 

17:10—Would you describe yourself as “humble enough to be mentored,” as Mark puts it? Was there a time in your life when you weren’t that way? What mistakes or errors in judgment did that cause you to make? Proverbs 16:18

27:27—In the times you’ve been in a position of power and influence, did you maintain enough humility to admit the things you didn’t know or weren’t great at? Or did you keep those things inside, thinking that revealing them would undermine your credibility as a leader? How did that impact your ability to lead effectively? James 4:10 

31:18—Have you ever admitted a personal sin or failure very reluctantly, only for another man (or several other men) to reveal they were struggling with something similar? What did it feel like to know you were not alone with that problem? Did it inspire you to be more open about such things in the future? James 5:16

35:43—What’s one of the biggest “false narratives” you’ve believed about yourself for an extended period of time? Who started that narrative, and how did it affect you? Who played the most important role in getting you to finally realize that it wasn’t true? John 8:32

Additional Resources 

Mark’s new book, Dad on the Clock: Becoming an Intentional Father, Leading with Purpose, Presence & Faith