Redefining True Strength for a New Generation of Men

About The Podcast

Jon Ebert, founder of Single Stone Counseling, comes from a lineage of pastors. Perhaps that’s why his work focuses on religious leaders, who can feel ashamed to admit they’re struggling. This week, Jon talks with Redeemed founder Paul Amos about the big expectations that can burden men, striving for authenticity, and how we can redefine society’s warped, stereotypical view of masculine strength by focusing on the example presented by Jesus.

Show Notes

Additional Resources

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

Timestamps

0:00 — Intro/”lightning round”

2:10 — Jon’s journey from a “chameleon lifestyle” to redemption

11:29 — The special problems leaders face in admitting problems or inadequacies

19:43 — Achieving work/life balance as a religious leader

22:27 — How men can redefine true strength and be their authentic selves

29:48 — How do we battle addiction when temptations only increase?

Discussion

1. Did you identify with Jon’s recollection of living a “chameleon lifestyle” or the times Paul said he put on his “Paul suit”? Do you feel like you’re living a kind of chameleon lifestyle or split identity now? If so, what are the different identities you inhabit and the different people or groups you present them to, and why do you think you’ve been placing such importance on living separate lives?
2. In what areas of your life—family, work, church, volunteer activities, etc.—are you in a leadership position? What are some of the expectations placed on you in that leadership role (or roles), and have any of them become troublesome or unreasonable? Do you ever feel like you can’t be your authentic self in any of those groups because of the way they look up to you?
3. How did you define strength (specifically, masculine strength) when you were a young man? Who or what influenced that definition? Did any part of that definition ever seem inauthentic, burdensome, or unfair? How has your view of strength changed over the years, and what has caused that change? Psalm 28:7
4. Talk about Jon’s description of Jesus as a man who was willing to show emotion and sometimes affected by anxiety. Did it surprise you to hear Jesus described that way? How does it compare to the image of Jesus that was presented to you as a child or teenager? Matthew 9:36
5. In what aspects of your life do you find you’re trying to “hit the bullseye” of other people’s expectations most often? What do you think those expectations are, and how did you come to that conclusion? Do you ever find yourself wishing you could be your authentic self more instead of conforming yourself to those expectations? Galatians 1:10
6. What “rituals of connection” do you have with your spouse or partner? Are there any you’d like to start but haven’t found a way to bring them up?