Be Humble, Be Open, Be Curious

About The Podcast

As the third of six children raised by a single mother, Jay Brown didn’t have a road map when he became a husband and father. Today, Jay serves as head of the “Dream Team” volunteer program at Church of the Highlands’ Grants Mill campus and shares what he’s learned from the men who walked with him on his spiritual journey: communication in marriage, navigating the challenges of ministry, and leading effectively—in both good times and the bad.

Show Notes

Focus Verse:

The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. Proverbs 20:5

Timestamps

0:00 — Intro/Jay’s background and family

8:35 — The male role models who shaped Jay as a man, athlete, and father

17:11 — Jay’s spiritual growth in college

23:33 — Learning how to be a husband as the son of a single mom

33:24 — The challenges of leading a ministry as a husband-wife team

37:18 — Leadership principles that Jay has found to be effective

45:38 — Dealing with failure and disappointment as a leader

Discussion Questions

1. When you were growing up, did you have any male role models in your life similar to Jimmy, whom Jay describes as “not the most squared-away” person but still provided him valuable guidance and support? What traits or talents made this person unique and memorable? What was the single most important gift this person added to your life?
2. What would you say is your primary “love language”—words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch? What is your spouse’s love language? If your two languages are different, has that ever caused any friction or confusion in your relationship? Was it challenging to learn to “speak” a love language that you weren’t familiar with? Ephesians 5:25
3. Think of the times you’ve experienced significant problems in your marriage, friendships, or career. In general, have you taken the time to ask yourself what role you might be playing in that problem or what you might be contributing to the discord? Or are you more likely to jump to the conclusion that you’re blameless and the other person is entirely at fault? Matthew 7:1-5
4. Jay tells the story of how communication between him and his wife dramatically improved once he simply began asking her questions about her needs, preferences, and feelings. Do you ask your spouse those types of questions? If not, what’s keeping you from doing so? Are there any questions you’d like to ask your spouse—or think you might need to ask—but are afraid of what the answers might be? Proverbs 18:13
5. Do you serve in any kind of leadership role right now? How many people do you lead, and what general goals are you working toward? How much do you know about those people—their lives, their interests, what motivates them—and how much have you shared with them about yourself? If the answer to either question is “not much,” what are some things you could do to get better acquainted?
6. When someone working under you fails at a task or does a disappointing job, how much grace do you give them? Do you show forgiveness and work to help them learn from their mistakes, or are you more likely to react with frustration and anger? What kinds of expectations do you place on the people you lead, and what expectations do you place on yourself?